Author, Gourmet Chef, and Ping Pong Champ!

Blog 3: My Brief Conscious and Subconscious History

July 26th, 2013 Evelyn Cole
AuthorEvelyn Cole


I suspect that fiction writers have several things in common beginning with, but rarely stated, “My mother (or father) didn’t like me.”

Also, I believe their histories are as interesting as their stories. Therefore, I offer you bits and pieces of my history that relate to Geminis, to hosting dinner parties, and to my subconscious mind.

I remember creating scenes in my mind before I learned how to write my name. The typical scene set in my neighborhood starred my father and me. The plot: he would show up and catch me doing miraculous things like inventing complex ball games. The happy ending: his applause.


We all need more than food and shelter. How well those extra needs are filled in childhood determines how comfortable we are within our own skins as adults. It took me many years of writing to find comfort with myself, to uncover my subconscious beliefs, to understand why my mother didn’t like me and to realize her dislike had more to do with her than with me.                         Here’s one small piece of my history:
In April of 1998 I began publishing: SELLING SAVVY… ONLINE, a weekly newsletter containing current news about online marketing, editorial  from my warped point of view, the best articles available, plus a few classified ads. I began with this definition: “Savvy” comes from “savoir faire”, that well known French expression that means, “to know (what) to do” at all times. Selling goods and services on the  Internet, this ever-expanding marketplace, is like moving to a new country. I had to learn the language, the customs, the manners, and the formatting.

Early positive responses from readers encouraged me. However, marketing gurus told me I should change my tune to a hard sell. That went against my grain, but I tried it anyway and lost my sense of humor, and money as well.  So I quit being savvy.
My cooking and all my novels act out this basic theme: We need to unearth our subconscious minds to rewire for our conscious “savoir faire”.

I learned to cook at my mother’s knee because it was the only thing I could do right in her eyes. Because I’m left-handed she scolded everything else, especially sewing. Often I still feel haunted by “You can’t do anything right, except cook” coming from my subconscious mind. I have to bring it forth and release it.

Felicia in Gambling for Good Mail can’t keep a husband because she’s afraid of intimacy and does not know it until she returns to her childhood home and confronts her ghosts. She discovers what she has been studiously avoiding and why. Available on




Written by Evelyn Cole

Evelyn Cole

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